It’s been a while
a month since the last time I write on blog
Went out to a beach club with Shinta to clear this heavy mind of mine
Went to a place where everything is blue, Azul. And I start daydreaming…
For about months I am in a very depressive state, sad and every good feelings vanished. I lost my self-assurance, lost my vision, confused, blurred, fallen. I feel like I am not me those days and I really hate those gloomy days back there. Broke. I was broken down into pieces. And it was like ugh.
It was in the middle of November, last year, when I felt this kind of feeling. Lost my confidence, I started to doubt myself, I was worried about almost everything, I started to think that something bad is going to happen. I felt worthless. I felt unwanted. I felt like I was betrayed. And my heart ached so hard. And I never thought that someone who I love the most can hurt my heart this much. And my stupid head keep persuading me. And I am drown into that damaging assumption. It was you who broke my heart, but it was my thought that ripped me down even worse. I don’t want to look back and stuck within the blues for years. Everything is going to be alright. Maybe not today, but eventually.
Dear March, please give me the good news I am waiting for, please