TELL ME IT’S REAL

I never write about something, someone, this long before. Still wondering whether this is real. Because it’s so fast, the...


I never write about something, someone, this long before. Still wondering whether this is real. Because it’s so fast, the phase is so hasty. And life is sure strange sometimes. The story can be unbelievable. It tickles. The more I think about it, the harder I laugh, in tears. The tougher I analyse the past, the further the right answer seems to be. After dreaming out loud about life for years, now I don’t need a fantasy. This is real. And I don’t have much but what I see now. I don’t care. I don’t want to understand either. Whatever it is, just tell me it’s real.
The paradoxical nature of life. Every contradictions. The result of multiple levels of reality. Every clouds have their silver linings, we only can see the light if there is darkness, blah blah blah and other motivational quotes we often heard to cheer gloomy days in our lives. And here we are now, two poor unfortunate souls. Well, the past is in the past, we both have it. And different forms of retroactive jealousy. Miffed, but it made us the us today. And human beings are coupled to each other in very funny ways. Ways beyond our knowledge. And we as souls, each has their own wave length. And souls, souls do vibrate. Yes they vibrate and attract others. But there are people whom we have a closer vibrational relationship to than other people. People who we can feel closer and more connected to within a few hours of meeting them than we do to people we have known our whole life. Yes, there are.
How bizarre human's heart is. To change from one to another so quickly. To move from one’s arms to another this fast. To kiss one’s lips to another lips so swift. And it scares me. Is love real? Is this real? Because I don’t want to crumble again. I don’t want our feelings to change in a bad way in the end. If I could selfishly ask, if it’s not too much, I want to stay like this for a very long time.
And as I threw my eyes to the window far sight looking for nowhere, he hugged me from behind, “me too.”
Afraid that you will slip away.
He whispered between my ears grasping me tighter, “I won’t.”
Afraid that I will fade away in the end.
He whispered again after a deep breath, “promise me not to.”
I know my strength. I know my endurance. I am not that kind of type who leave easily for whatever my heart fancies in a period of time. Affection, caring, closeness and intimacy are the keys to make me remain. But who am I to justify, and why would I. And I wouldn’t want an exact same one. Going over the same mistakes. Doomed to keep repeating the same pattern over and over again. No. It was only when I recovered and started to learn the lessons that I needed to develop and to be able to start changing my pattern.
I am still scared. That all of this is just an illusion of the eye. Rough path ahead. It’s not going to be easy. But us worth every penny. If this is what I have to pay, then I will. I’ll take all the consequences. Maybe I’m, maybe I am just as scared as you. But I guess it’s alright. Stay by my side. Like you said, you and I against the world. I remember, those comforting words you said on the day when you kissed me for the first time between the red lights.
❤️
xx
Photos by: Diana Predani
Currently listening to: Tell Me It's Real - Seafret 

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