BOOKS
MOTHERHOOD
PREGNANCY - THE SERENDIPITIOUS FIRST TRIMESTER: WHAT TO LEARN & WHAT TO READ
9:08 PM
 |
"when
you find something good, without looking for it… serendipity." |
Throwback
to early June last year, when we found out that I was pregnant. It was kind
of serendipitous for us. I guess, it was a surprise present for Angga's
birthday which surprised me more than it was for him. He said he knew I was pregnant since I was feeling kind of unwell that day without any specific
reason. We were not expecting the baby to come that fast, but we were grateful beyond measure that she did. We decided to keep the good news only for
ourselves, family and some close friends. A treasured moment that we want to
cherish,
one of the most fulfilling chapters we’ll go through together.
...
The
first three months of pregnancy, which is usually called the first trimester, range from 0-13 weeks. I flooded myself with
books, medical journals, mama's blogs in the net, mama's video on Youtube and
health articles. This was my first experience and I would like to gather as
much information as I could to prepare myself. Or maybe I was just panicking.
At first, the pregnancy was unreal. Obviously, there was not much change in the
first trimester, like I was not pregnant at all. No bump yet, but there inside
my tiny belly a little human was growing. Overloaded with joy and worrisome at the same time, my thoughts
were covered with many thoughts, since all of these were unfamiliar. The first trimester can be overwhelming. Understanding the changes you
might experience can help you to manage and take care of yourself during this
exciting time. I would highly recommend everyone to read as much reliable information (especially from health
institution websites/article) as one could. Take in mind that not all will
experience the same things. It might be different in each women, also different
in each pregnancy. And within this post, I am going to list some basic things you need to know about the first 13 weeks of your pregnancy.
 |
"Changes are still invincible, yet a wondrous growth is happening there inside your body." |
- First: the missed period. Of course, one of the very first sign. It would be helpful to estimate the due date of the delivery when you note down your first day of your last period, so please do take note every first day you have your period each month. Not only for pregnancy, this will help to tract your overall gynecology health as well, so I will recommend every woman to do this.
- Breast. Tender and swollen breasts might happen due to some hormonal changes. But don't worry, this discomfort will subside in few weeks as your body adjust to the hormonal changes.
- Nausea. Most of the case, you will feel nauseous with or without vomiting. They call it "morning sickness" though it can happen any time through out the day from morning to evening time. Again, this is because of pregnancy hormone changes. Some might have food cravings, too. To relieve nausea feeling in your first months of permanency, you can try to modify your eating habits. Try to eat in small amount but more frequent, choose low fat food, drink plenty of water and avoid any food that smells/that might worsen your nausea. It is expected to have mild nausea in your first trimester, but if the nausea-vomiting is severe and you could not keep any food down, you need to seek medical attention as soon as possible.
- Fatigue. You will feel drained and exhausted even when you are not doing anything excessive. Again, elevated level of Progesterone's will make you feel sleepy. If you can rest, rest as much as you can. I remember I slept a lot through the day. But if you can not leave your work or many things to do, manage your schedule as you can so you don't get too weary. Rest is important, do not overdo yourself.
- Urinary and bowel movement changes. In some case, these might happen. You might find yourself urinating more than usual because your blood volume increases and causing your kidney to work more to process the extra fluid. You might also experienced constipation due to increased level of Progesterone's that slow your digestive system.
- Remember to take your supplements. Your body is transforming to a huge change and preparing itself to hold a baby inside of you. Eating a healthy diet will help you get most of the vitamins and minerals you need, but when you are pregnant it is important to take some supplements. Folic acid is a must, even before you are pregnant. Take your iron, vitamin C, D and calcium also, these are needed a lot to support your whole pregnancy journey.
- Prenatal Care. As a health care worker, I would definitely recommend every woman in their pregnancy to browse and plan for their prenatal consultation. It could be your own midwife, doctor or Obstetrician specialist. Your health care provider will treat, educate and reassure you throughout your pregnancy. A first ultrasound will be needed to be done around 8-12 weeks of pregnancy. This early weeks of pregnancy are the best time to plan out checkup schedules, determining for gestational age, considering some tests needed and discussing every concern regarding to your health in your expecting journey.
- Last but not least: your emotion matters. Not only your body but your emotion will change, too. Some women experience mood swings and being more sensitive when they are pregnant. And it is okay. To be anxious, to be overwhelmed, to be thrilled, to be mad, to be sad, to be glad. You might have mixed feelings especially if the pregnancy, for some reason, is unplanned or you are not really ready to have one. To have a child is never an easy option. Having a support system to help you through out your pregnancy is something very grateful to have. It could be your partner, your parents, your siblings, your friends, your neighborhood, or any community where you can have a grip to hold on to. Your mental health matters, too. So, if you are feeling not really happy, or scared, or confused, during this critical period, please talk to anyone around you or seek any medical attention.
 |
Books to read about pregnancy, labor and motherhood. |
I’ve
searched for books about pregnancy and motherhood straight away after I knew I
was pregnant. I have a nerdy fascination about knowing everything and answering
all the questions in my head. To know and prepare everything, like a
coping mechanism, a way of finding some sense of control when things feel very
much out of control. I like feeling prepared and more importantly, I don’t like how it feels when I am
unprepared. Beside, I am an avid reader if I must say. There are many books out there related to this topic and it was
difficult to choose which one to read, which would be helpful and which one is
not much different with the information that are there in the internet. Books are personal for
each person, I guess. I picked books that provide me with general knowledge,
science-based writings and clear information. In hope that it will
give a solid base and practical advice to go through this magical journey
of expecting my baby, also to give me a new perspective on how I perceive motherhood. So, here are some list (with my personal ratings) of
books I read during my pregnancy and motherhood (because some I read after
labor, but if you could read it while you are still pregnant that would be
splendid).
...
- Everywomen: A Gynecological Guide For Life by Derek Llewellyn-Jones (5/5). A MUST READ. I got this book from my mom, though it's an old copy but it still relates with current date. Written by an Australian OBGY specialist, the book explains women genital from childhood to menopause, also detailed knowledge about pregnancy, labor, breastfeeding and contraception in easy-to-understand writings.
- Strong As A Mother: How To Stay Healthy, Happy and (Most Importantly) Sane from Pregnancy to Parenthood: The Only Guide to Taking Care of You by Kate Rope (5/5). ANOTHER MUST READ FROM ME. It contains solid foundation to brace oneself with motherhood life. It will prepare you with what lies ahead, provide you with tools that you need especially to take of yourself, permission to struggle at times and professional advices with practical tips which suits your situation that you can try yourself.
- Bringing up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (3.5/5). I would not really recommend this book by the way, but I think it would be a light read if you are interested with French and its parenting style. It is nice to know about one country's general parenting ways, but after reading this one, I am not really sure that I would like to find similar books about one country's parenting tips. One thing that I remember about this book is the chapter where it says "the perfect mother doesn't exist."
- Motherhood by Sheila Heti (3.5/5). This is a novel about a woman contemplating her choice to be a mother or not to be. Is it that complicated if a woman choose not to have children? Does it mean that she is losing her life meaning if she doesn't have a child? Maybe motherhood means honoring one's mother? Why is it so virtuous to do work that you create for yourself out of purely your own self-interest, like digging a hole in the middle of a busy intersection, and then starts filling it up again, and proclaims: filling up this hole is the most important thing in the world I could be doing right now? I kind of like that line.
- Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (5/5). Another novel about motherhood that left me crying for hours. It is a South Korean Novel. Maybe I would recommend this book for people who is not pregnant yet/plan to have a baby because it shows a lot about post-partum depression (trigger warning, I don't want to give any scary thoughts if you are pregnant and you read this book). The idea of the book is what modern women experience nowadays, hardships of being women (and mothers), and gender discrimination in South Korea.
- If In Doubt, Wash Your Hair: A Manual for Life by Anya Hindmarch (5/5). This one is more about being a Mom and a Career Woman. Can we really have the best of both worlds? I enjoyed it a lot, it's such a great book-gift for my birthday this year. Makes me wonder how to be a caring parent and also keep working because I do love my job.
- The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read (and Your Children Will Be Glad That You Did) by Phillipa Perry (4/5). This book is one of the book you should read if you are planning to have a child. Even if not, this book is a good book to understand relationship in family and be kind of a healing book for past trauma/unfortunate childhood events if you had one.
- Ada Serigala Betina dalam Diri Setiap Perempuan: Psikologi Feminis Untuk Meretas Patriaki by Ester Lianawati (5/5). An Indonesian book which I enjoyed reading about feminism. In this patriarchy world, women are expected to be submissive, nurturing, loving, should not have dreams/ambitions, should be a mom. Responsibility of nursing a child and nurturing family is heavier on the women compared to men. One that captured my mind is how society project a woman to be a "good" and "perfect" mother, as that role is what women are designed for. Not much about pregnancy or parenthood, but something that gives me a strong boost about what it's like to be a strong woman and how I would like my daughter to be, too.
...
By the end, all I can say: the first trimester is the start of this wonderful journey, a process to understand and embrace with all of your heart. What I learned through my pregnancy is that it changes a lot about my understanding about motherhood, womanhood, about life. I was so thankful to have a superb partner and a supporting family who are always there to help me in this whole journey of being a mother. And I do wish all women can have that kind of safest place, too. For anyone who is expecting a baby, congratulation and take care. For anyone who is still in the waiting, I believe in God's best timing for someone to be pregnant. And for anyone who choose not to have a baby, let's celebrate this freedom of choice of being a woman.
❤
xx
xx
3 comment(s)
terima kasih informasinya
ReplyDeleteVisit Us
hi, terimakasih sudah membaca ya
DeleteCasino - Bracket betting guide for your chance to win
ReplyDeleteThe Casino 33카지노 is a unique casino that 카지노 사이트 has 우리 카지노 총판 been around for over a decade. It has managed to offer great 바카라사이트 games such as Blackjack, Roulette fm 카지노 and Video Poker,